Well.. i was flipping through the scripts as usual and my old habit kicked up... and well.. i came across a familiar show... that i happened to love... and well.. i couldn't resist and that happens often.. so
well anyways.. this show is one of the funniest i've ever watched and it was one of those that made me laugh till my stomach ached... so... yeah...
BRUCE ALMIGHTY
BRUCE : I mean, it's just s o . . .
GRACE : Helpful and life saving?
BRUCE : C'mon, that's your...blood. It's in your body and I don't think it's supposed to come out. Besides, they stockpile that stuff. They have an endless supply frozen in a warehouse somewhere then tell everyone there's a shortage.
GRACE : They do not. Now stop it. I'm * giving. I have a very rare blood * type, AB positive.
BRUCE : Well, I'm IB positive. IB positive they aint touchin' me with no needle.
Sorry, honey. My sister seems to think she's my mother.
- Grace
Thank you, Susan , Bruce Nolan here aboard the Maid of the Mist at Niagara falls.
First off, "I want to add another congratulations to Evan Baxter. It's good to see what someone with real talent can accomplish when great opportunities are given to him instead of me.
Anyway, I'm here, I believe with Katherine Hepburn's mom. Tell me, why did you toss the blue "heart of the ocean" jewel over the railing of Titanic?
Did you feel guilty at all letting Leonardo Decaprio freeze, while you were safe floating on the big door? Do you think he would have survived if you had taken turns, or were you too afraid to freeze your big fat ass off?
Well, I guess that's the way life works, isn't it? Some people are drenched, freezing to death, on a stupid boat, with a stupid umbrella... while others who aren't fit to kiss my willy, are sitting in a nice, comfy news room, sucking up all the glory!!!
Now, lets speak to the owner. Come on in here, Bill. Bill, you.'ve been running the Maid of the Mist for 23 years. Tell me, why do you think I didn't get the anchor job?
Do you think it's my hair? Maybe my teeth aren't white enough? Or like the great falls, is the bedrock of my life slowly erroding underneath me.
Erroding. Erroooding. Errodiiiing...
I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness news. Back to you fuckers
-Bruce
Denied that promotion at work? Is life unfair? Everywhere you turn is there someone less talented than you reaping all the benefits ? Is your name Bruce? Then do we have the job for you. We're located at 77256 23rd Street... So come on down, or we'll just keep beepin' ya.
- Beeper
I'm having a breakdown. That's what it is. Just a normal, everyday psychotic episode, brought on by tumor or brain lesion...
- Bruce
Ah, there we go. Sorry about that. The Prime Minister of Sweden visited Washington today as my little tiny nipples moved to France-
The White House reception committee greeted the Prime Rib Roast Minister and I do the cha cha like a sissy girl...
I lika do da cha cha...
- Evan (Bruce is fooling him)
Quite a nice show i must say. real touching at the end... but nonetheless just as comedic... =]